Chicken Walker

I really thought I had seen everything, that was until the other day as I was driving down a main road in the town where I live in the North of England a lady was walking a chicken down the road.  Yes you heard that right……walking a chicken!!!

It turns out though that this is not such a strange thing.  I decided to have a look into this and what I found out was fascinating.   Zhu Fushun, born in 1979 from China runs a chicken farm.  He feeds the chicken on herbs instead of grain and takes them for walks (hence why he was nicknamed ‘chicken walker’).  The chicken are reared in the open wild rather than enclosed chicken farms.  Zhu is now very successful and has featured in many Entrepreneur magazines.  A billionaire also offered him more money to grow his business.  Zhu declined his offer, advising what he needed was more sales channels, and these appear to be opening up to him.

Just shows, when you have a vision and you know what you want to do, how and when, stick to your guns!

china_chickenwalker

B.

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Dating Do’s

The following are my own observations and findings whilst being in the dating game.  I am sure there will be many people who will disagree with some of the points.  I have to be honest when I say I would have been one of those people when I began to date again.  However, over the last two years I began to see what worked and what did not work.

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Firstly I guess I should explain what I was looking for from a man.  If I was just looking for a man as in someone to start a relationship with and I was not bothered about their looks, their prospects, morals or anything else then you do not need to play the dating game.  All you need to do is find a man who is as desperate to settle down as you are.  It may work for a while and you will probably get some good times, but eventually it is likely to fall apart.  Not all the time, may I add.  Sometimes there is that freak couple you know that manages to stay together through all adversity.  But, generally, and in most cases, if you begin a relationship with someone for the wrong reasons then it is not likely to last the test of time.

When I first began dating again I did not know what I was looking for in a relationship.  I did not know what type of man I wanted, what qualities I was looking for-I just wanted a man-a replacement for the one I had just lost.  Let me point out that if this is the case with you now, it is OK to feel like this.  The reason you feel like this, no matter how much you want to disagree, is because you are not over your last relationship.  This is why it is very important that you actually date people.  Date as many people as you like whilst you begin to work out what is important to you.  As long as you are not leading people on then you are not doing anything wrong.

After I jumped straight into a relationship (and then pretty much straight back out again) with the first man that offered themselves I then started another relationship with a ‘fitty’.  A man who was a personal trainer that looked good from the outside, but had absolutely nothing going on in the inside.  His only topic of conversations were training at the gym and what he ate on a daily basis.  Needless to say, that relationship did not last very long either.  These two are just examples of how you begin to work out what is and is not important.

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These days, although looks matter to me, I do not seek high and low for the fittest man in the bar.  I am much more likely to be drawn towards someone with a great personality, someone who is considerate, that is an all round nice person, that can make me laugh.  I find at first that I do not even notice their clothes any more.  I would be lying if I said that I could date anyone as long as they could make me laugh, we nice to me etc, but that is not entirely true either.  There has to be a spark, but that spark can start from something other than looks.

It is important when dating for you to be the lady, and let him be the man.

lady

I am not the most feminine type, I do now and again venture to the pub with jeans and a t-shirt, trendy pumps and a bobble hat! It is not all about the clothes, it is not about wearing the shortest skirt or lowest top you can find.  It is about acting like a lady and doing lady things.  Let the man do their man things, one thing men love is to be needed. Don’t take advantage…..numerous requests every day are not going to go down well and he will eventually get fed up with you, no matter how much he liked you in the first place.

This one, I have realised is very important.  He needs to do the chasing.  If you chase him then there is no challenge, what is he working for? If he already has you then there is nothing for him to work towards and it is likely he will quickly lose interest.  which is what leads me to the next point before you get chance to ask…..

chasing

If he is interested he will contact you. If a man likes you he will get in touch with you.  He will make the effort because the thought of anyone else getting in there first will eventually tear him apart.  There is nothing a man likes less than to see the woman he wants on the arm of another man.

Remember, there is no rule for contact. It may take a few days, week or two…however long it takes, he has still thought of you.  Give him chance to miss you.  This has happened on so many occasions with me.  I’ve even managed to turn relationships around.  I started off being the chaser with one man.  We dated a few times and he then lost interest, probably because I was no longer a challenge to him.  So when he stopped contacting me, as hard as it was for me to do so, I stopped contacting him too.  Out of the blue about three weeks later he sent me a message.  Instead of replying straight away I replied the next day.  I think the fact that he had to wait for a response ignited some interest again.  He now contacts me regularly asking if I fancy meeting up, but as it happens I’ve since met someone who interests me more, so at the moment I am generally very busy 😉

Never tell him you love him first.  By all means, show him you are interested and show affection, but do not smother him.  Let him become attached to you first.  It is important, as once a man makes that connection with you its difficult to break it.  He has got to that point on his own without being pressurised by you or anyone else.  That way he realises his own emotions and feelings therefore less likely to become complacent and bored.

These points are obviously not a guarantee to having a perfect relationship, but they are more my findings from dating, and believe me, in some circumstances I have found out the hard way!

spark

Good luck.  In case you are not convinced, check out this article 🙂 http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/17/6-reasons-its-better-to-be-single-than-in-a-relationship-at-christmas-4226154/

B.

Tallulah Tree Monster

tree monster   one leg

No one warned me that when I got two kittens that Christmas potentially would never be the same!  Since putting up the Christmas tree Tallulah Sparkles has done nothing but climb up the middle, batting out the baubles from behind so she can play football around the living room and kitchen floor.  Additionally, poor caramel santa (whom can be seen in this picture) has lost a leg!  Unfortunately he will remain a casualty forever more as not only did Tallulah rip poor santa’s leg off but also appears to have eaten it as there is no trace of it at all.  I will be genuinely surprised if there is anything left of what was our beautiful tree by Christmas day!

Luckily, Lily Twinkle is not quite as sadistic as Tallulah and is happy chilling out with Father Christmas and his helper 🙂

 lily christmas lily

B.

Who’s move is it first?

Technically who should ask who out? Is it the man or the woman? I was always under the impression it did not matter and being a confident girl I quite often the one to broach the subject.  However, as I have grown older, I realise it is actually a mans place to do so. Unfortunately this tradition appears to have gone out of the window a long time ago.

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In my opinion:

“He who dares…..WINS!!!”

You ve got to take a chance, ask her out.  I think from my past experience if you have to ask the guy out it technically does not seem to go anywhere because the relationship (if it progresses to that) has gotten off on the wrong foot, so to speak.  The man needs to take charge of the situation, assert his confidence (and charm) and woo that lady!  Note to ladies: the only men worth having, will only stick around if you make them ‘work’ for you.  Hand yourself on a plate, roll over like a cat having its belly tickled, offer no challenge and this ‘potential’ relationship is going nowhere.

There are of course things you can do to nudge the guy along gently into asking you out.  But if you really like this fella then do yourself a favour and sit patiently and wait (whilst giving out all the correct signals of course!) Yes I know, easier said than done.  All you need is a bit of flirting, eye contact, interest in him and his life, act confident, laugh and make him laugh etc, etc.  Hope you got all this ;).

I am a great believer in that if it is meant to happen then it will.  Do not waste your energy or time considering who should ask who.  Relationships are not supposed to be difficult or strained.  If it is right then it will flow and when something flows, it can only ever go in the right direction!

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B.

 

Hunky Santa’s…..depends who you are asking

I had to write a post on this, because I have never cringed, but laughed so much at any one time.  I do not find these men attractive at all, and bearing in mind it is an advert for ‘enhancing’ underwear I would be pretty mortified if a fella I was dating stripped down and revealed a pair of pants like them 😉

However, who has come up with this advert for Andrew Christian, have done their job nicely but it is not only causing a bit of a stir, but it is also a great source of entertainment and not something you will remember straight away. So even if you do not find them attractive at least give it a watch so you can have a good laugh (If you dare).  It does do one thing, it hurries along the Christmas spirit!!!

Enjoy!

B.

Online dating blunders

online-dating texter

Following on from my previous blog post (see below for related articles) on online dating, I’ve decided to put another post together.  Those of you who are fellas with an online dating profile you may want to consider these points, if you are having problems i.e. not getting any messages or not getting replies to messages you have sent.

1.  Be careful when choosing your user name.  User names such as ‘BigBalls1984’ and ‘hornyhunk1973’ are not attractive (yes these are real)

2. Tag lines such as ‘free to a good home’ or ‘sick of being single now’ are not going to have women queuing up for you.  They just scream desperate!

3. Sending messages which simply say ‘hi’ are highly likely to be ignored.  If you cannot be bothered putting in any effort with the first message why should we bother responding?

4. Stating things such as ‘Not looking for a penpal, if you only want to chat then jog on!’.  This is a major turn off.  Most women will want to send at least a few messages first, to check out whether or not they feel comfortable in meeting you.

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5.  Putting naked pictures on.  This will only attract a certain type of woman…and not one looking for a relationship.  However, if sex is all you are looking for then carry on!

6.  Get an honest female friend to look at your photos for you.  I have never understood why men decide to put on pictures of them looking angry/aggressive accompanied with captions saying ‘my angry look’.  Think about it…..would you contact a woman that looked angry?!

7.  Put more than one photograph on of yourself, at least one close up and one full length (and make sure they are recent, not from 10 years ago when you feel you were in your prime).  If you do not do this then people may be disappointed if/when they meet you and likely to feel misled.  This will only set you up for a fall later on.

8.  Don’t kill yourself off! Think about how your message may be portrayed.  I received a good first message from someone the other week, it read:

“Bands, festivals, yoga, traveling and amazingly stunningly gorgeously beautiful wow!!! hows it going for you on here? xxx”

(ok so he may have been a bit over the top…but at least he had taken the time to read my profile)

so I replied:

“Hi, how are you. I would say if nothing else its rather amusing! Im not sure I am convinced to be honest! What about you? x”

to which he replied……..

“I can’t stand been on here but yet can’t seem to be able to get away from it, that might be down to the fact I get no interest from girls at all xxx”

Which immediately indicates this man has little self-confidence, and if he gets no interest at all then why should I be interested?  It always worries me when men come across so insecure.  You want the man to be able to stand up and take care of you, I just could nt see this happening from a person who comes across like this.  Secondly in my experience in the relationships I have had, where I went through  a stage of dating people who wanted to be ‘saved’ in one way or another, who suffered from low self esteem and confidence were the ones who usually suffered from jealousy and trust issues.  These are toxic relationships and not good for anyone involved.

9.  Do not ask too many questions in one message.  I got a message from a fella, and as nice looking as he was, I did not bother to reply.  The reason for this was he asked 6 questions in one message, all quite intimate, with the last two asking “so what do you think you could bring to a relationship?” and “what would you do to keep me interested?”

It is not an interview, and the main reason for messaging initially is to see whether conversation can flow naturally between two people.  If it cant flow over messages then its highly unlikely to be easy face to face.

10. Do not write about your best mate, who is female, and you love her to bits and she thinks you are a really nice guy and she just wants you to find someone who you really deserve…..blah, blah, blah.  Do not put pictures of her on your profile either.  Women automatically feel threatened by other women and will straight away begin assessing whether or not they would feel inferior to your best friend and whether they are going to have to be competing for your affection.  I am happy for fellas to have female friends, I am just not sure what I think about them having a female best friend.  Usually men with female best friends have either been in a relationship and shagged this woman before or they turn out to be gay.  Sad but generally true 😉

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So if you are guilty of any of these profile blunders, rectify them and see if it makes a difference.  I would love to hear from you if it does! For all those women looking, I hope this puts some fellas on the right track and internet dating might not be so painful Happy searching everyone!

B.