In recent months I have been suffering from anxiety….a delayed reaction to deaths in the family, three major life changing accidents to close family members and recent legal matters arising through no fault of my own. For a while now my life seems to be nothing but a transitional period. I am feeling a little lost. I am not in a relationship and miss that support and love. I am off work with little inclination to return and feel like I want to change my job….but to what I do not know. Money is a little tight and so I feel restricted. I struggle to see where my future is going and feel like I need plans….but plans never seem to work as something always happens which stops me in my tracks….so what is the point in plans? Well plans are needed to give us a future. Something to look forward to, especially when you go through a period of time when you feel stuck or you are simply ‘treading water’. Plans act as a beacon of light.
I found comfort in this quote. It gives me the affirmation that all I am going through at the moment is for a reason and ultimately at the end of it all I will have developed emotionally. I guess all of this needs to happen before I can move on in my life.
“The capacity to become depressed, to have a reactive depression, to mourn loss, is something that is not inborn nor is it an illness; it comes as an achievement of healthy emotional growth … the fact is that life itself is difﬁcult … probably the greatest suffering in the human world is the suffering of normal or healthy or mature persons … this is not generally recognized.” Donald Winnicott