We all know what it is like when we meet someone new, and we fall head over heels in love with them. It does not matter what the do or say, as to you they are perfect. However, you should always be aware of what a healthy relationship consists of. This can keep you out of trouble. If you know the signs before you get into a relationship this should help you to attract the type of partner that you will actually be loved and cared by, and in return you can do the same and of course live happily ever after, just like you have always dreamed………well maybe not ‘ever after’ but for a long time at least, and at least you will be happy 🙂
So what is a healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship is a relationship where you feel happy, safe and secure. You completely trust your partner, you are not afraid of them, and they do not make unreasonable requests of you.
What makes a healthy relationship?
- Mutual respect. Do you respect each other? Do you listen and understand each others point of view? Do they know the real you and you know the real them? Can you be yourself or do you have to act like someone else. Mutual respect is a sign of a healthy relationship.
- Trust. You are talking to a guy, laughing and joking when your partner walks by. Do they act jealous and ask you if you are sleeping with each other/seeing each other behind his back, or do they say hi and join in the conversation, completely trusting you. If there is trust between the two of you this is a sign of a healthy relationship.
- Honesty. This goes hand in hand with trust. If you do not or cannot tell the truth then you cannot expect your partner to trust you. Most people know when another person is lying, even if not straight away. Are you open with what you are doing or who you are with or do you feel you have to cover this up from your partner. Do you feel they know you are lying but you justify it because you feel your partner will be upset with you? If you cannot be honest this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship
- Support. In the good times and the bad. Some people thrive on drama and are great when the going gets tough, but forget to be supportive in every day life when you need that extra encouragement to finally sign up for that college course you ve always wanted to do or take a part in a local play. Offering support to you consistently is a sign of a healthy relationship.
- Fairness/equality. Give and take. Do you spend as much time hanging out with his mates as you do your own, do you take turns in choosing which movie you are seeing at the cinema, or who will be making tea. If a power struggle starts and one of you are constantly trying to get your own way then this is not fair, nor is it equal and this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
- Separate identities. In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises. But that doesn’t mean you should feel like you’re losing out on being yourself. When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that shouldn’t change. Neither of you should have to pretend to like something you don’t, or give up seeing your friends, or drop out of activities you love. And you also should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.
- Good communication. Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars. You’ve probably heard lots of stuff about how men and women don’t seem to speak the same language. If something is wrong and your partner asks you, stay calm and speak to them about what is upsetting you. There is no use in bottling up your emotions and feelings as it achieves nothing. If you are not ready to speak, tell them you would like a little space, but you will discuss it with them shortly. The right person for you will allow you this time to gather your thoughts and emotions. If you can communicate effectively this is a sign of a healthy relationship.
By now you should understand what is seen as a positive, healthy relationship. If you believe you are in one of these then a big ‘hi 5’ to the both of you and long may your happiness continue. If you have read this and feel you may be stuck in an unhealthy relationship maybe it is time to consider if the relationship is worth taking forward. Should you have found yourself in an abusive relationship where your partner is controlling or you have been groomed into things you are in a loving, healthy relationship, then you need to get out of it and quick. Stay strong, find local professionals to help you and you will be ok. Nothing in life can survive if it is toxic.