Online dating blunders

online-dating texter

Following on from my previous blog post (see below for related articles) on online dating, I’ve decided to put another post together.  Those of you who are fellas with an online dating profile you may want to consider these points, if you are having problems i.e. not getting any messages or not getting replies to messages you have sent.

1.  Be careful when choosing your user name.  User names such as ‘BigBalls1984’ and ‘hornyhunk1973’ are not attractive (yes these are real)

2. Tag lines such as ‘free to a good home’ or ‘sick of being single now’ are not going to have women queuing up for you.  They just scream desperate!

3. Sending messages which simply say ‘hi’ are highly likely to be ignored.  If you cannot be bothered putting in any effort with the first message why should we bother responding?

4. Stating things such as ‘Not looking for a penpal, if you only want to chat then jog on!’.  This is a major turn off.  Most women will want to send at least a few messages first, to check out whether or not they feel comfortable in meeting you.

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5.  Putting naked pictures on.  This will only attract a certain type of woman…and not one looking for a relationship.  However, if sex is all you are looking for then carry on!

6.  Get an honest female friend to look at your photos for you.  I have never understood why men decide to put on pictures of them looking angry/aggressive accompanied with captions saying ‘my angry look’.  Think about it…..would you contact a woman that looked angry?!

7.  Put more than one photograph on of yourself, at least one close up and one full length (and make sure they are recent, not from 10 years ago when you feel you were in your prime).  If you do not do this then people may be disappointed if/when they meet you and likely to feel misled.  This will only set you up for a fall later on.

8.  Don’t kill yourself off! Think about how your message may be portrayed.  I received a good first message from someone the other week, it read:

“Bands, festivals, yoga, traveling and amazingly stunningly gorgeously beautiful wow!!! hows it going for you on here? xxx”

(ok so he may have been a bit over the top…but at least he had taken the time to read my profile)

so I replied:

“Hi, how are you. I would say if nothing else its rather amusing! Im not sure I am convinced to be honest! What about you? x”

to which he replied……..

“I can’t stand been on here but yet can’t seem to be able to get away from it, that might be down to the fact I get no interest from girls at all xxx”

Which immediately indicates this man has little self-confidence, and if he gets no interest at all then why should I be interested?  It always worries me when men come across so insecure.  You want the man to be able to stand up and take care of you, I just could nt see this happening from a person who comes across like this.  Secondly in my experience in the relationships I have had, where I went through  a stage of dating people who wanted to be ‘saved’ in one way or another, who suffered from low self esteem and confidence were the ones who usually suffered from jealousy and trust issues.  These are toxic relationships and not good for anyone involved.

9.  Do not ask too many questions in one message.  I got a message from a fella, and as nice looking as he was, I did not bother to reply.  The reason for this was he asked 6 questions in one message, all quite intimate, with the last two asking “so what do you think you could bring to a relationship?” and “what would you do to keep me interested?”

It is not an interview, and the main reason for messaging initially is to see whether conversation can flow naturally between two people.  If it cant flow over messages then its highly unlikely to be easy face to face.

10. Do not write about your best mate, who is female, and you love her to bits and she thinks you are a really nice guy and she just wants you to find someone who you really deserve…..blah, blah, blah.  Do not put pictures of her on your profile either.  Women automatically feel threatened by other women and will straight away begin assessing whether or not they would feel inferior to your best friend and whether they are going to have to be competing for your affection.  I am happy for fellas to have female friends, I am just not sure what I think about them having a female best friend.  Usually men with female best friends have either been in a relationship and shagged this woman before or they turn out to be gay.  Sad but generally true 😉

dickhead

So if you are guilty of any of these profile blunders, rectify them and see if it makes a difference.  I would love to hear from you if it does! For all those women looking, I hope this puts some fellas on the right track and internet dating might not be so painful Happy searching everyone!

B.

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